It’s a dangerous trap, “to compare”, it usually ends up in more pain. The grass is not greener or easier over on the other side of the fence. Life is hard for all of us at different times.
I have learned that having an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is how I get through. Anyone can have this kind of relationship. In fact God is waiting for all of us to get into a close relationship with Him. It’s kind of the reason you were born.
I did not “earn” my close relationship with God, I did not “beg” for it and there is nothing “special” about me that singles me out to get special treatment. A close relationship with God is available to everyone.
I did not come to God in a single lightbulb flash moment as many do. I approached it very carefully. I was studying Jehovahs Witnesses, Mormons, Christianity all at the same time and I had no idea which way I would land.
I got so frustrated with all the “different” teachings of the Bible that I finally figured I would read that darn book for myself (the Bible).
Somewhere between Genesis and Revelation I figured out who God is and He invited me into an awesome relationship with Him. I’ve never been the same.
I took the Bible literally - every promise, every relationship from Adam and Eve to the Disciples, I figured that was how we were to live. I took God at His Word. I took the Bible and put into practice what I read - literally. I kept reading it over and over and have for 40 plus years. I honestly thought that was what everyone did. It took me years to figure out that it was different for everyone.
I learned that Jesus was and is never dull and boring and if that’s your Jesus is, then you might not know Him as well as you should.
A relationship with God comes at a price. Jesus paid a price to be in relationship with us. The disciples paid a price to be in relationship with Jesus. You and I have a to pay a price to have an intimate relationship with God. That price is called surrender or obedience.
The key in to having a close and intimate relationship with God are the words: “yes Lord.”
It might not look fun, it may cost you in terms of family, relationships, money, convenience or even location. From your perspective it may not even make sense (it usually doesn’t) - you see it wouldn’t be called faith if it made sense.
But again the appropriate response is : “yes Lord.”
Do you know how many “Christians “ have told me they would never have been able to move to the bush and do our last 3 years? I always say, “But if God told you… “ I get blank looks back or a run on of excuses as to why they couldn’t possibly handle it OR more often than not they tell me something like: “but God knows that you (Jane) like that kind of adventure.”
So here I am setting the record straight: No I do not.
Not in my wildest dreams is this being a “settler, farmer, bush woman”, what I would ever want to do. It has been excruciating hard. It’s a journey fraught with tears, pain and some laughter. But most of all it’s been tough slogging.
Why did we do it?
Because God said. Period. And God saying so equals obedience. Period.
Remember I read the Book! I read Jonah and I didn’t want to visit a whales stinky belly! I read about Noah and the millions who didn’t make it onto the boat. I read about Ananias and Saphira who tried to lie to God and dropped instantly dead. Each disciple of Jesus except one was martyred. I am sure not one of these folks “liked their circumstances.” It is not a requirement for following God to "like my circumstances" first.
I did not have to like moving- that was not the issue, if God said, then we had to obey. We do not call the shots in this life IF you are a follower of Jesus.
Gods first order to us was: “buy the field” back in 2017. We did not get a location or any other than that one sentence.
I remember one day when we were in the looking for the field to buy process. A process that took 3 years of looking weekend after weekend, wondering why we needed a field, wondering where, searching the countryside, not having a sensible answer. I only had one sentence: “buy a field”.
That sentence was consuming our lives.
I can picture it like it was yesterday - Gord my middle son leaning against the wall in the family room.
“Mom, why do you need to buy a field? What’s it for? It’s not like you need a field.”
I looked up and looked him squarely in the eye. He had my full attention.
“Gord, you do not know your mom very well. If God told me to buy a field, then come hell or high water, I’m going to buy a field, whether I know what it’s for or not.”
He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and wandered off.
It was one of my best teaching moments ever. My son needed to know where my heart was. Who my heart obeyed, whether it made sense or not.
You see I am not training my kids to become scholars or intellectuals. I do not care if they ever go to Oxford or Harvard but I can assure you that I desperately care that they get to heaven. It’s not an option for me.
Our kids watch our every move. What are they seeing in your life?
I have made a ton of mistakes and I’ve had to apologize my head off for my poor parenting. For poor decisions and not being the mom they needed. But… I have always tried to point them to God in every situation for help and support. Especially when I do not have the ability to help, God does, it’s His specialty.
When I read that book, the Bible, I realized that God takes broken, not at all perfect people and invites them to join Him in this journey called life. He uses the broken, the messed up ones. He uses me, all messed and broken, I could not have made it through life without Him and I do not want my kids to even try to do it on their own.
It may not make sense to you if you do not know God, but once you let Him in… nothing else really ever matters. The coolest part is I can leave the heavy “lifting “ of life to God. I do not have to try to figure it out. Would I like all the answers? Of course! But if I had all the answers, why would I need. God?