I am in Edmonton today, had a test Monday and seeing a doctor today. I have not seen a doctor yet other than my surgeon. It seems quite strange that these doctors who I have never met, have apparently been making decisions on my behalf with me unaware. Apparently one doctor who I was told was my “doctor “ passed me to another doctor who I still haven’t met.
I am not sure how I feel about all this or how a a person is to feel about this. Here’s the thing, I am not a casual observer in this matter, I am living the actual life, in my actual body that they are making plans for. It’s a strange concept. Literally in our age of technology, I am only a phone call or zoom away. It feels like one of those conversations where you are in the room but they talk around you, not at you.
While here I am having another health issue and tried to get a bit of help at a pharmacy. The pharmacist was kind and caring. I get that my story is a bit intense. But when she suggested that she thinks I’m just too stressed and that is causing my issue and that perhaps I could find a pool table and relax by shooting a couple games of pool, I knew I had come to the wrong place.
My middle son Gord is with me and he has been amazing. My oldest son is manning the home front- chickens, ice, dogs, I’m very blessed to have my sons take care of me, the youngest services my generator and is my technician. Oh these men take good care of their momma!
I realize how blessed I am to have these sons of mine. Last night I realized how blessed I am in many areas, which I know, but hopefully do not take for granted and often I probably do, until it is pointed out again.
Gord and I had gone out and we saw this car that had a strange contraption chained on the roof. It was a sketchy looking vehicle and I was nervous to get in my side of the car because it was parked “right there.” Gord scoped it out and no one was in it. So we took a look. The thing chained on the roof was a heater. This was someone’s mobile home. They lived in their car. It was full of stuff.
As I realized that it was someone’s home I suddenly become aware how fortunate I am to have heat, water, and a warm bed to crawl into, that I have family and friends who care about me. That I have doctors who talk about me. Too often I assume everyone has the same things and do not give it another thought, but many people simply don’t.
A city trip now that I live in the bush points out huge contrasts in how I live. I have a tv in the hotel room but I find I simply click channel after channel because there really is nothing great to watch. Instead of choosing mediocre - I just turn it off. I do not miss it.
I am supposed to be in Scotland next week to partake in a course. That was “my” plan. This little jaunt to Edmonton tells me very surely that my body is not ready for travel just yet. I even packed my “big” suitcase and my passport, in case I could take off from Edmonton and get there. It’s very disappointing but right now it would be foolish to push myself to get there. This is very discouraging because I thought I have been doing so well. I am doing well, I just wanted to be “well-er.”
The course is live streamed so I can watch it but I would rather be there! I mean…. Scotland!
That’s the update from my world, bless you for reading my blogs and journeying with me!
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