Something shifted for me mentally, emotionally and I guess physically last Thursday. I have no idea what actually all happened, but I sensed there had been a shift.
Does that make any sense to anyone else? I am not sure, but all I know is that day, I felt that God was now very present, very near, warring on my behalf and that I knew I was going to be okay.
Up until then I was not sure about how to go forward, how to find hope, how to find peace. What was the point of all this off-grid stuff if Brian was not a part of it?
I felt yesterday some of it when I was cleaning out the chicken coop, it stunk, no other word for it. But as I shoveled for a couple hours, I sensed it was “easy and peaceful”. Not like the normal struggling that leads to sore muscles, exhaustion, it was a new experience for me. You know it felt more like I was not doing the “work” – that I had help, it was easy. (still stunk)
I am beginning to understand how God wants to walk with us, in partnership, where He really does do the heavy lifting, literally. Life will have good and bad in it, and I could not imagine doing this hard journey without some kind of hope.
It was also on Thursday that I tried to go into a clothing store. I started at the mall but it was so busy in the parking lot that I never even made it inside. I cannot do crowds or chaos yet, I find that my brain gets overwhelmed and tends to freeze. I went to another stand-alone store, I ended up buying a couple little things but soon realized that I could not quite hold up to shopping. But wait for what happened!
I got to the counter and the sales lady was doing her job asking me questions, postal code, account, sales…. but I could not handle it so I asked her if she could please just put my items through because I was not caring about points or keeping track of what I bought.
I explained that my husband had passed away in an accident and that I was just beginning to try to go out and about and I was not handling it well that day. She does not know me but she replied, “was it that accident on the highway between Beaverlodge and Hythe?”
Why would she ask me that? I never mentioned what kind of accident or how he died or when or anything.
Instead I simply said, “yes.”
She said, “Oh your husband is the Jesus Walker.”
Sharply I looked up at her, “Excuse me, what did you say?”
She replied, “Your husband is the Jesus Walker.”
I took that statement in and a smile began at the corners of my mouth and then proceeded to spread, “Yes, yes he was,” I said confidently.
I walked out to my car and sat basking in this phrase of what had just happened. I marveled that this, “Jesus Walker” term being used to explain my husband around the Peace Country but what a term it is! Remember I do not know this lady, nor does she know me or anything about us, but she knew about the “Jesus Walker”.
Brian was a Jesus Walker!
He touched so many lives and the impact is still being felt near and far. I am still hearing from people from Brian’s background and from our background about how my husband touched their lives from years ago.
Jesus also touched the world with His presence, the world has never been the same since Jesus Christ was first here. That is why we are in the process of celebrating when Jesus first came: Christmas. Jesus came in the form of a baby, born to unwed parents, born in a barn, announced to shepherds in a field, and the world has never been the same.
The world will not be the same for many since Brian was here.
Brian was NOT Jesus, that is not what I am saying, but Brian was a representative of his Jesus. My husband now has the legacy of being a “Jesus Walker”.
We all should long to be known to leave a lasting impact on the world and to be known as a “Jesus Walker.”
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